Erotic Mood

women. But the most challenging part of the training is to learn how to exude masculine energy. Not every man is accepted for the training. Few men pass muster,” he says. “For instance, you have to be always extremely well groomed, down to the last detail, all the time. You have to dress, look, smell good and be in great shape all the time. You have to be projecting enthusiasm and a sunny persona all the time. These are challenging but in a good way.”

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It is a tough game, and survival means being responsive and resilient. He teaches men not to disengage. He tells them to read the signs.  “Many men have the tendency to lose interest in the woman as soon as they ejaculate. The earlier passionate man now abruptly disengages and wants to do something else. Either make a phone call or smoke a cigarette or watch TV or just put on his clothes and leave. It is this volte-face that women resent,’ he says.

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“Well, I don’t do that. And I train my guys not to do that. I will feed her or hold her close or whisper sweet nothings or just look into her eyes and let her know that I valued the intimacy that just happened… Although a man can be trained do this, he cannot be trained to want to do this; that can only come from within. Either a man has it or he does not. This is one of the key characteristics I observe in a man before accepting him for training.”

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A gigolo is not just meat and muscle, or an expert in positions. He is also company.

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‘Some of my clients are from the media and the business world. A few of them very well known,’ he claims, ‘I have been the sounding board for their product launches, I have tweaked their TV  commercial scripts, I have helped her choose brand names for her product lines, I have played devil’s advocate to help her resolve dilemmas (personal and work-related), I have helped brainstorm her powerpoint presentations… all, while being wrapped around each other, naked. So yes, we invariably end up becoming good friends and do what good friends do.’

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And unlike female prostitution, there is very little shame involved. According to a male model, it’s a way for him to make ends meet. With no men’s fashion weeks to earn them money, he says, they end up as gigolos, and strippers. “We get Rs 5,000 for a show. We have to maintain ourselves, and still earn a living,” he says, “We end up doing this, and it isn’t so bad.”

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Gigolos are looked down upon a lot less. An older gigolo can still be hired because his appeal has less to do with his looks and more to do with his persona. For gigolos, the career pressure is different. They need to be present all the time, alive to their clients’ whims. ‘Physically, mentally, sexually present-100 per cent present. Sad but true,’ says the trainer.

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The men who come to the trainer for coaching are regular guys with regular jobs. “I used to be a regular guy too, remember? If you meet them at a social event (the ones I have trained), they would look no different from the others, except perhaps more sexual,” he says.

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The trainer once was a biotech engineer by day, and a gigolo in the after hours. In his words: “I used to be an awkward and nerdy guy with poor social skills, and lonely weekends. I did not even have a girlfriend. But I was always fascinated by the idea of being a gigolo. The idea of getting laid while getting paid for it seemed a fascinating way to make a living (even though, at the time, it was just a fantasy).”

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Until one day the fantasy came true.

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“While travelling on a work-related assignment, my fellow passenger in the plane started making small talk, as usual. It so happened that I was particularly bored that day, and did not feel like indulging in small talk. So when he popped the inevitable question, ‘What do you do?’ I decided to have some fun. I calmly replied, ‘I am a gigolo’,” he writes in an email.

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That’s how it began for him. The fellow passenger retreated into a stunned silence, and just as he was about to alight, the man came over to him and asked for his number. ‘It turned out that he wanted to hire me for his wife. After a few days she referred me to her friend, one thing led to another, and soon, my calendar was full with appointments,’ writes the trainer.

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Gigolos who service rich middle-aged women can earn up to Rs 30,000 for a night. But they also come cheaper, as low as Rs 1,000. Those who become gigolos are mostly men who also want a good time besides money. But it isn’t easy. There are many men in the arena who are yet to find takers. They have advertised their best points. Some have even gone on to list their penis sizes on social forums in an act of desperation to find clients. But that doesn’t always work.

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The gigolo trainer says not all men make good gigolos. “Most are seeking just a ‘good time’, they just want to get laid. While others come for the challenge of it. The former don’t make good gigolos because they are in it for just their own fleeting pleasure. The latter have more potential because they see it as a game and are willing to put in the time and effort to get skilled at the game. And as you know, mastery at anything happens only with sustained effort not by dabbling at it,” he says.

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A male gigolo is the product of loneliness at one level, and the independence of women in cities. He fills the void, offering everything a lonely woman may desire-from a ‘boyfriend experience’ to sexual intimacy, the kind of sex that’s seen as deviant, or just company. There are those who are just looking to hold hands, and just talk.

Love can’t be bought, but company is another matter, and once these women have broken that first barrier, it’s easy to find men who will be at their disposal. So long as they pay, nothing will be refused.The gigolo trainer says that clients range from housewives, working professionals and the staff of foreign consulates to NRIs, tourists and college students, among others. They have to be above 18 years of age, he says.

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Women can find men within their budget in several ways. There are websites that provide men for a fee. On Topix.com, there are too many men in the game. Their pitches are stereotypical, though. They aren’t selling tenderness but sex, and maybe a bit more. But online advertisers rarely find clients easily. As one woman says, she isn’t going to get just anybody home, but only someone through a referral. Nobody wants to waste time with novices, she says. Then, as one gigolo notes, there are those old ways, like dropping a red handkerchief, or carrying one at well-known locations outside a discotheque, or a club late in the night.

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But of course, in the midst of desire, as with everything else in India, there’s the matter of class. Gigolos from small towns are often mesmerised with the women they service, women who are empowered, and used to asserting themselves. They fall for them, and are sad to be treated as playthings, called only when needed, even passed around.

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A filmmaker who was exploring the lives of gigolos in the city says the men range from models to personal trainers, or they’re just frustrated men on the lookout for sex. But there are class barriers. She recalls one male escort who had fallen in love with his 36-year-old client, and would keep her photo in his wallet, and would feel sad when she wouldn’t call him. Or call only when her husband wasn’t around, she says.

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And of course, the women too fall victim to delusion. This happens all the time, says the Mumbai-based trainer. “Women falling in love with you and looking you up, finding your home address and couriering you gifts…or worse,

showing up at your house with the gifts.

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Creepy,” he says.

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In the shadows of desire, everyone seems to have taken the blue pill. Falling down the rabbit hole of loneliness has its price. As Lou Reed in Walk on the Wild Side, croons, ‘Little Joe never once gave it away / Everybody had to pay and pay.’